What could be harder than realizing your loved one is in decline?  Let’s use my mother as an example.  My mother, Bernice, had Alzheimer’s for eight years.  She was diagnosed at age 74 and showed signs at least 2 years prior to being diagnosed.  I did notice changes in her during the previous 2 years.

What I and my whole family didn’t realize is the fact that we were not accepting her changes.  Part of ignoring the changes in my mother was her ability to “fool” us.  How did she know to cover up her mistakes or missteps?  

As an example, if she put the milk in the freezer instead of the refrigerator, she would just laugh and say she was multi-tasking at the time.  Another time, Mom and I met my friend, Ellen, for lunch.  After lunch, we decided to drive separately to a nearby gift shop.  Mom and I drove together and parked next to Ellen outside the gift shop.  My mother popped out of the car and said to Ellen, “Have we met before?”  We all laughed, and I said, “Mom you are so funny; we just had lunch with Ellen.”  I thought she was joking.  

Do not be hard on yourself if the first signs of Alzheimer’s go unnoticed.  The changes can be so subtle that you don’t realize what is happening. It can be so confusing to the loved one and the family.  The most important things are communication amongst the family members and consistent medical checkups with a trusted doctor.

Did you notice the initial changes in your loved one? Share your story with me.