I am now going to push myself to open up to you. I know I started this website to help other women get through difficult times. I can’t believe for someone (me) who loves to talk and talk and talk, I am having trouble opening up to you. I know one of my concerns is that I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. I also find it possibly depressing for you to hear about my challenges. See I even wrote “challenges” when I should have written “horrible stuff.” I have been through a lot of horrible times. I want to share my life’s struggles and hopefully, you will not feel alone. Feeling alone is a terrible place to be in your life. I know that you can be in a relationship or going through a divorce and feel lonely. You can be in a room full of people and feel alone. Being alone can be painful too and you can have real symptoms of a headache, tension in your neck, and heartache. How do I combat loneliness? I reach out to my female friends. I call and make lunch and dinner dates. I make sure to ask my friends if they are free for coffee or breakfast. I met with a friend for breakfast this morning while in Boca Raton, Florida. My son attends college on the east coast of Florida. I sent my friend a text the night before and luckily, she was available. We are not the exact same age, but we are going through similar life-changing events. We both lost our fathers in the summer of 2019. When you lose a family member you know mourning is part of the process. But feeling lonely is unexpected. Why? Why would feeling lonely come with grief? It was wisely pointed out to me that when you’ve been a caregiver for an elderly parent and the parent passes away, you may feel lonely. Have you been a caregiver for an elderly parent or another relative? All your time is taken up worrying. Now, all the time you spent caregiving is a big void. You finally have free time to think about caring for you but instead, you feel guilt and all alone. Yes, you have many other things to do in a day, but trading the feeling of loneliness for activity is a guilting feeling. Changing your mindset is hard work. Like Cher said in the movie, Moonstruck, “Snap out of it!” I wish I could snap out of it, but I can’t right now. Thank goodness I reached out to my friend! We both had the same feelings about the loss of our fathers. We both needed to express our feelings without being judged. If you are going through loss and the feelings that accompany this life-changing event…please reach out to a friend. We are all suffering when we hold our feelings inside. Not everyone can relate to your feelings but remember, “a problem shared is a problem halved.” Now I sound like my mother and there is no cure for that.