It’s difficult to travel even in the best of circumstances. I know because I have a suitcase and a desire to see my friends who live in Delaware. Each state is taking steps to make it easier for their own residents to travel during the pandemic. I felt guilty flying up to Philly last week, but I’m glad to say it went smoothly. I stayed in Wilmington with my friend, Karen, who lost her significant other three months ago. I had attended the funeral, but I knew Karen could use another visit…if for nothing more than a distraction. I talk a lot and I thought I might drive her crazy in five days, but at least I could try to help keep her occupied.
I’ve found that when a loss is new and a friend is at their most vulnerable, I’m the one who ends up getting spoiled! This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I’m the one who should have been doing the cooking for Karen. But Karen is an excellent cook, and so there I sat in her kitchen while she prepared meals. I could tell when she was paying attention to my conversation and when she was distracted. She did a great job hiding her pain, but one morning she confessed the ache in her heart. I knew she looked sad. Hearing it in her own words was heartbreaking and it was time for a hug. I held her tight and tried to absorb some of the pain.
If you’re thinking about a friend who’s lonely because of a loss, do what you can to comfort them. You don’t have to fly to them (unless you have frequent flyer miles like me)…but just reach out in any way you can and try to absorb some of their pain.
