When December arrives, I think of my mother.  My mother’s birthday was December 7th.  I remember what it was like around the holidays when my mother had Alzheimer’s.  My mother, Bernice, looked like Edith Bunker from the TV program All In The Family. Bernice ran around our house as Edith did, catering to the head of the household.  My mother’s voice was not as high-pitched as Edith’s, but my father, Harry, was very boisterous, like Archie Bunker.

Before Bernice had Alzheimer’s, she did all the cleaning, shopping, and cooking. My mother was in charge of every aspect of the Holiday.  But, as the disease progressed, my father had to take over much of the work preparing for the holidays.  There were some tasks my mother could help with, but the majority was now my father’s responsibility. 

My father had to be on a constant learning curve.  Some areas of the house needed to be cleaner, but they were clean enough.  The cooking was more a work of convenience than of culinary talent.  It didn’t matter that many things had changed as long as my mother was well cared for, and she was.  Why do holiday memories consist mainly of my mother with Alzheimer’s? Is it because my short-term memory is better than my long-term?  

Bernice had Alzheimer’s for eight long years.  Each holiday became more precious as I knew my mother would continue to decline.  Friends told me that I would miss my mother more each year that passed without her.  They were right.  I was lucky to have so many wonderful Christmases with my mother, and I always think of her fondly, especially in December.